been trying to think all of it through rationally.
organise my thoughts and emotions.
figure out what this really perculiar and never before felt feeling is really but i'm afraid.
i'm terrified.
fortified.
i'm a wimp who's afriad to face up to her own self.
this tomfoolery.
i'm gonna do my head sooner or later.
p.s. i'm betting my money on sooner.
just keep swimming
please tell me what's wrong?
i've struggled with loving myself for the longest time possible and based on recent observations, i seem to be losing this damned war.
why can't i see myself as the Lord my God sees me?
as precious, important, beautiful and with a great purpose?
i'm drifting.
into a deep dark ravine.
beyond the point of no return?
guess there's no such thing
but sometimes it feels like i've fallen so far it'll take a life time just to go back to ground zero.
i'm loosing my grip.
i feel myself slipping.
worst of all i feel powerless.
again, i feel myself on standing on the edge of the world on my tippy toes, wondering why i try so hard to keep my balance while i wait for the slightest breeze to give that last gentle shove.
bring me back?
you can try
but nothing in this world's ever guaranteed.